threeyellowlabs.com  August 20, 2021

OLD DOGS The last chapter – seeing them to the finish line.

My Three Yellow Labs have come and gone. Working and living with these dogs for some 17 years was some of the happiest and most rewarding days of my life. At the end some of the saddest and challenging days of my life.  They were my passion and my every day. The last to go was Ms Olive U (Right) . She has been gone a little over 2 years now. I write most of this chapter on the back side of the Covid-19 lock down

I want to share their last days because it was truly the hardest part for me. I want to share our story and the things that helped get them to the finish line with dignity. I need to share the things that really helped me and my k9 friends in hopes that it will help you and yours when that time nears. I will talk about how I cared for each dog and the challenges they presented along the way. I tried to refine the process with each remaining dog.

The last year was the hard part. Everything else was the easy part and I’d like to share that with you at a later time. I’ve learned a lot about these amazing animals and it’s my intention to write a book about us some day. In writing the last chapter first I hope to gain traction to write the rest of the book. I have pages of notes about the very cool things I did with these dogs and the things they taught me. How I trained them, kept them happy, healthy and safe, times 3. How we took care of each other through the process. I took thousands of pictures and hours of video of them on our walks and adventures. I’ll share some of them with you right now.

Our Vet Peter Campellone said to me after finishing with Olive U’s last visit,” they took care of us now it’s our turn to take care of them.”  That statement struck a chord with me and stopped me in my tracks. I paused for a moment and said. “you’re absolutely right.” After thinking more about what he had said I wanted to go back and ask him to elaborate on that statement thinking there might be a whole lot more to it. Peter passed away unexpectedly a couple of months after Ms. Olive passed. Now I will never have the chance. I’ll save the rest of that story for another day. https://www.boyleandsonfuneralhome.com/obituary/Peter-Campellone

 I still remind myself pulling into the driveway,” there are no dogs here.” Maybe it’s a left over from being so cautious pulling into the yard each day and watching them run to the car to greet me.  What a great feeling that was, but no more.

Two of my Labs lived to 14 years old and Ms Olive made it to 15!. I was blessed; for the most part they didn’t have any of the major aliments that affect other labs and dogs in general, for the most part.

Sandy Cheeks (left), my #1 was the oldest of the 3 sisters.  Sandy was born on May 21. 2002 in Trinity Alabama. Katie Binks and Olive U were from the same parents but were born a little over a year and a half later on February 3^nd, 2004 (02 03 04). I’m not really into numerology but some numbers get my attention, the 234 sequence and especially the number 203 in the middle makes me smile. I would call all three dogs by calling out, “1-2-3.” The three sisters from Trinity.

SANDY CHEEKS – My # 1 of 3 (CONFIDENCE)

Sandy was my pride and joy; she was truly an amazing dog. She was my first dog from puppy to grave. After the first few months with her I knew I had something special.

We were walking to the local school one afternoon to play fetch the ball. We played at the school next door every day. One afternoon walking to the school I noticed I had forgotten the tennis ball. I hand gestured to Sandy that the ball was gone. We were half way there so I decided to keep walking. A minute later I looked up a realized I had lost sight of Sandy so I call out her name. As I looked around for her I saw her returning out of a heavily wooded area up a steep embankment with a tennis ball in her mouth. Sandy was 6 months old and she really liked playing with the tennis ball. She understood what I was saying to her and she took the initiative to solve the problem! It was this moment I knew I had something special.

Sandy was a trained air scent search and rescue dog. She was really good it and loved to play that game. She helped me train her 2 younger sisters. Sandy was a great skijour dog too. 

I’ll tell you more about training Sandy later. Training her was such a joy and an education for both of us.

Having a new puppy in my life was a motivating force to get me going, up and out. After a 2^nd back surgery in the fall of 1999 having a high energy dog was exactly what my back needed. It was a symbolic relationship at several levels.

DENTAL

Sandy had dental problems the last 7 or so years of her life. Her teeth would plaque up very quickly. She had an allergic condition to the plaque that caused sores in her mouth and her gums to swell.  This promoted bad breath and drooling. These problems were addressed by frequent dental cleanings, at the very least twice a year. At one point our Vet Peter said he was uncomfortable putting Sandy under to clean her teeth.  At age 13 she was getting too old for the anesthesia. He said, ”you might not go home with the same dog you dropped off.”  I had noticed a different behavior after I had her teeth cleaned at a different vet the year before.  It took her 2 plus days to recover from the procedure. The change in her was subtle but was noticed when she was taken out of her everyday environment. There is a big gamble anesthetizing and old dog.

Peter thought we should try to manage the dental problem with meds.  That meant putting her on the steroid Prednisone. Sandy had been on Pred a few times in the past so I knew what I was in for. On the back side of it, I worked hard to keep her weight down. Pred turned her into a food vacuum cleaner. Frequently I saw her licking the kitchen floor and kitchen chairs. Most of us who know Labs know they are always ready to eat. Her appetite was literally on steroids. I would slip her a few extra treats and some extra food but it was like putting out fire with gasoline. It was really tough to watch. I might have been able to fix the problem years earlier but was uncomfortable with the thought of removing most of her teeth.

Hind sight being 2020, removing her teeth was drastic and at the time it was a “maybe this will work.” Knowing what I know now, maybe I should have had them remove her teeth. The question still haunts me. Today mass extraction is pretty much the standard of care for this kind of oral problem. Dogs can get along pretty well with most of their teeth removed. Keep an eye on your middle aged dog’s teeth, think ahead.

WEIGHT

Like I said earlier; try your best to keep your dog’s weight down. Extra weight helps to wear their joints and slows them down even faster. At some point arthritis starts to set in and this slows them down even more.  Dietary joint supplements help but how much we will never know. Watch how they stand up and sit down, watch their gait, watch how they tire walking in beach sand or on a long hike. Are they struggling to keep up or are they leading the pack? Just watching will tell you volumes.  Joint pain leads them to not want to go on their daily walks and their exercise levels start to go down even faster. It’s a vicious circle. Dogs are real good at hiding pain until it gets real bad.  Peter prescribed Tramidol to try to reduce the inflammation/pain so I could try to maintain her activity.  In the last 2 years she gained at least 10-15 pounds. This was mostly due to her being on Pred. This increase in weight did not help her condition and only made things worst.

WALKS

At age 13 Sandy would start out walking with me and the 2 younger dogs but would stop and turn around to go home shortly into the walk.  Slipping her some Tramadol wrapped in roast beef and then waiting an hour to go out helped. Sometimes she would realize she had walked a little too far and it was difficult to watch her struggle through the pain to get home.  We would stop at a few of her favorite shady spots and let her rest along the way.

It got to a point where Sandy would make it to the end of the walkway and stop. I would call her and she would not respond. I would give her a hand signal and she would not budge. I would temp her with treats and still nothing.  I can still see the look on her face right now. It said, ”I’m sorry John. I really want to go to the field with you, Binks and Olive but I can’t. I will wait right here for you. I will be right here when you get back.”

It was a sad look and one I’ll never forget. Sandy and I were always attached at the hip. Before I would take her younger sisters for a walk to the field I would stop and short throw the ball and Frisbee to Sandy in the front yard. I would give her hand signals to lead her to find treats hidden in the grass. For Sandy it was always 100% business. She was always so ON and eager to please me. I could tell she enjoyed the familiar commands and she would sometimes do things she thought I was going to ask her to do next, she knew me well. I think she wanted to show the other dogs that she could still do it.  She was now limping when she returned to me after light play. I always tried to keep her spirits up with lots of praise, rewards and one on one interaction.  As soon as I returned with the other 2 dogs from the walk Sandy would greet us and walk with us to the kennel just like she had been with us the whole time. I know my #1, if she could she would, but now she can’t and there is not much I can do about it. It was painful to watch my trusted friend slowly wither away.

In her younger days, Sandy was muscular and very athletic. She would pull me on skis in the winter and pull me on my big wheel scooter in the summer. She was an amazing swimmer. She was sharp as a tack and truly amazing to work with in the field and in the woods, 100% American Lab.  A local hunter offered to buy her from me. I was very polite but there was no way I would let her go for any price.

We had been to many places together, from back packing many times in the White and Green Mountains to air scent search and rescue training out in the middle of nowhere. There were days that she knew me better than I knew me. The most important thing she taught me out there time and time again was, “TRUST THE DOG.”

SLIPERY FLOORS

Sandy was having trouble walking and especially on the kitchen floor.  Her rear legs would start to slide apart on the slippery floor; she would flop on the ground and was not able to get enough traction to pull herself up. She did better on carpeted floors so we put carpet runners everywhere there was slippery flooring. It looked like a ransom note but it got the job done.

BOOTS

Sandy had been trained to walk on different surfaces and to wear protective boots.  The winter boots had rubber soles so I had her try wearing them for a while. Once the rubber got dusty/dirty it would lose its grip on the slippery flooring.  If your dog is not used to wearing boots, introducing them to an old dog that is already having trouble walking is not a good idea. Dogs sweat through their paws so you can’t leave boots on for long time especially when it hot out. The carpet runners worked better.

NUCKLING

During an exam the vet will roll each of the rear paws one at a time. The dog puts it weight on the paw and the vet sees how long it takes the dog to correct it. Simply put, this checks the connection between the paw and the brain. I watched it play out to a point where the old dog would roll its paw and then try to walk on it. The longer it took for them to correct it the worse it got. You can hear their nails dragging on paved or hard surfaces.

TAIL WAGGING

At one point I noticed Sandy stopped wagging her tail. It was like it was simply not connected. Even when she was visibly happy she could not wag her tail.  I would lay with her on the floor.  To try and make her feel better I would grab her tail and wag it for her. I would thump it gently against the floor the way she always did.

I somehow suspected that late onset degenerative myelopathy (ALS for dogs) might be at play here. Degeneration of the spine could also be playing a role. I wasn’t about to get her tested because at that age there was very little I could do about it.

STAIRS

There are 5-6 stairs to get in and out of my single story house. To help her up and down the stairs I would wrap a skinny towel under her belly and grab the ends to help her up and down the stairs. I learned how to do this a lot better and will share my experience with Olive U and Katie Binks a little later.

HARNESS

To help Sandy get around I bought her a soft-sided Velcro closed harness with a handle on it. It was the right idea but the wrong harness. At the time it was all I had and it helped a little.

HEARING LOSS - EAR INFECTIONS

Like people, dogs can also lose their hearing. Most hearing loss is cumulative and happens slowly over time. Watch when someone walks into a room and the dog doesn’t notice or there is a loud sound that the dog does not respond to. The Peter noticed this and pointed it out to me on her last annual visit. We had been noticing it at home too. This hearing loss may or may not extend into the higher frequencies. Sandy would respond to a loud whistle when she was in the yard.

At times I had to yell at her to get her attention.  She could sense the increased energy level and didn’t like being yelled at. The other dogs didn’t like it either, who does? Sometimes I could stomp a couple of times on the floor and she would feel it. Sandy would sometimes take ques from what the other dogs were doing.

Some of the hearing problems could be from ear infections over their life time. Labs are known for ear infections. The dog will jump into the water and sometimes it’s not the best water, try stopping them. Water gets in the ear canal and the big floppy ears prevent the ear from drying and a day or so later your dog is constantly shaking its head. Sandy wasn’t too bad with ear infections, Ms Olive had a harder time with it. It got to a point where I bought an otoscope on eBay for doing ear exams and had the vet show me how to use it.

LIMPING

Whenever I noticed any of the dogs walking with a funny gait or a limp I immediately put then on lead or put on a lightly loaded back pack when we went out. This slowed them down so any potential problem was given time to heal. Every couple of days I would reevaluate the problem before letting them run in the field or letting them play hard.

VISION

All three of my old dogs eyes were cloudy from cataracts. Lucky for me they never had any noticeable vision problems. Meaning I never saw them walking into things.

Dogs can see the colors yellow, blue and shades of grey so keep that in mind when you want them to see you. Dogs are real good at reading facial expressions. Sometimes even a simple wink was reassuring and it worked both ways. If you are wearing dark sun glasses it makes it harder for your dog to read your eyes and the subtle facial expressions you don’t even know you are making. Sandy hated it when I wore my sunglasses. There was a real disconnect and I noticed it with Olive U and Katie Binks too.

HAND SIGNALS

Sandy was amazing in the field and at long distances working with just hand signals. From an early age I taught all 3 dogs hand signals. Most verbal commands were reinforced by a hand command. I had them doing all sorts of fetching and finding in the field and never saying a word. At times I felt like a traffic cop directing traffic at rush hour.  In the house all I had to do was to get their attention and then give them hand signals. Early on I noticed it was easier for them to process the visual commands vs the verbal commands.  This form of communication was incredibly valuable and I think the dogs liked it even more as they got older.

LAST DAYS  - SANDY CHEEKS

My wife Anne had been telling me that the time for Sandy was getting near and to start making preparations. Listen to the ones around you, frequently they see the things you don’t see or simply don’t want to see.

Watch your old dog, what quality of life do they have?  Think back a couple of years when they were in better health and where are they are now. Watch for odd behavior. A day or 2 after Thanksgiving Sandy went head first into her crate knowing she could no longer turn around in it or gain enough traction to get up and out of it. I know my dog and I got the strong message that she was looking for a quiet, familiar place to die. After I got her out of the crate and it wasn’t easy I made a promise to her that I would do my best to get her to Christmas and did my best to cheer her up that morning before I left for work.

GETTING READY

I’ve read a lot of books about dogs. Books and trial and error have been my mentors (before YouTube). Not knowing anything on this end-of-life topic I went to Amazon and ordered 3 books on putting your dog down. I read all three and it was pretty hard as the realization was starting to set in. I don’t remember the titles and most of it was pretty redundant. I did pick up a couple of things that stuck with. Months later I gave the books away to a friend who was putting her old Lab down.  Years earlier I came to the conclusion that I was going to have her euthanized at home. That dreaded time was upon us. We decided to have her euthanized at home over the break between Christmas and New Year’s. I had no idea what this meant; I’d deal with it after Christmas.  I was in uncharted waters but I had to do what was best for my loyal friend.  I’d worry about me later.

THE BEST LAID PLANS

Over the next few weeks we did our best to keep Sandy happy, healthy, save and engaged with her younger sisters. Long story short, when I came home from the annual Christmas Eve party down the street, Sandy’s breathing told me she was in trouble. I took her out to pee and she collapsed. Anne helped me get her back into the house. She would not take any food or water. I lay with her on the floor all night to keep her comfortable. I reminisced with her all night about the amazing things we did and the wonderful places we visited together. I knew from her breathing that she was going to tire out. A term that I would better understand in March 2020 during the Covid outbreak. At 12:05 I told her we made it to Christmas, Merry Christmas Sands. I knew she was grateful I was spending this time with her. We were shoulder to shoulder all night on the kitchen floor. I woke 3 or 4 times to clean her and comfort her. I put water in an eyedropper and gave her small amounts of water to wet her mouth.

LAST WORDS

I knew for a long time that this day would come and it always bothered me. I had a lot of time to think about what I’d say to her in the last minutes of her life.  I told her, “I love you forever, thank-you for being my friend. Sandy Cheeks  find a good place to play.  Sandy Cheeks stay,  John fetch John come. Sandy Cheeks GO GO GO.  We had a language of our own. She understood every word. I was just glad I had the opportunity to be there with her.

Sandy Cheeks died in my arms just before sunrise at 6:05 AM  Christmas morning 2016.

I cried for 2 hours straight. This was the worst moment in 59 years of my life and it was Christmas morning. I felt like I had been disemboweled. The anxiety was overwhelming I felt like I was going to implode. I didn’t know where to put myself; I paced around the house frantically trying to make the pain go away. The sound of music and loud noises made me nauseas. The cold fresh Rhode Island morning air was not cold enough.

I remembered back like it was yesterday to that first time my wife Anne held this little puppy out to me and said, ” hold her, her fur is so soft.” I held that puppy in my arms and looked her right in the eyes and said to her, “you’re going to make me cry someday.” I had no idea I would feel like this. The sense of loss was overwhelming and it is every time I think about it. Like right now.

ROLLING PLAN “B”

If Sandy was still alive mid-morning I was going to call around to the home euthanasia people to see if one would come out. I really didn’t think I was going to find anyone on Christmas Eve.  I was not going to take her to the Animal Emergency room only to have her die in an unfamiliar setting around unfamiliar people. Sandy was always very proud and hated people fussing over her. I kept her as comfortable as I could and I kept my promise to her right there on the kitchen floor.

Its Christmas morning and I have a dead 80 pound Labrador Retriever in the middle of my kitchen and I feel like I had been run over by Santa and his Reindeer. I left her there for a few hours so everyone could say good bye. Katie Binks and Sandy were very close, Binks would not go near her and I didn’t force the issue. Katie Binks and Ms Olive both could clearly hear the commotion that was going on and they knew something was very very wrong. I did my best to assure them that everything was OK but they were not buying it. I took MS Olive and Katie Binks for a long walk that Christmas morning. It was a struggle for all 3 of us.

Katie Binks took the loss of Sandy very hard, they were the best of friends. Sandy was both a mother and a big sister to her. Katie Binks would always make sure they were touching when they laid on the floor together. I have quite a few pictures of them lying together just touching. Kate Binks was always the initiator. (For a second, go back and closely look at the second picture in this chapter.) Katie Binks laid in front of the pictures of Sandy I laid out on the floor. The poor dog would occasionally  knock them over trying to get closer to them. When we put the pictures away I wrapped a duffle bag in a blanket so she had something to lay with, to touch, and she did. Watching this almost every day I spent extra time with her. We both were mourning the loss or Sandy Cheeks.  Olive pretty much kept to herself. I was sure to give her extra attention too.

By noon time Christmas Day the boys helped me put Sandy’s body in the back of my Caravan. It was cold outside so she was in a good place. I went out to check on her almost every hour. The next day, December 26^th Anne called a few “pet crematoriums.”  We felt like some of them thought it was an opportunity and tried to turn it into a big deal. We found one place that took our call and their cell phone connection was horrible. They were on vacation in NH and they answered the phone! They had us at their Crematorium in Warren  RI the next day. No extra charge, sorry for your loss is there anything else we can do for you.

https://faithfulfriendscrematory.com/obituaries/sandy-cheeks-waterwalker-murphy/

What I’m trying to say here is things don’t always go as planned.  I have to do this 2 more times so I’ll share these tidbits with you right now. A few days before you put your dog or pet down pay your bills ahead of time, do the laundry and house work in advance, cook extra food. Buy yourself some treats. Try to deal with things that might come up in the next few days ahead of time.  Write down names and phone numbers you will need and keep them handy. You are going to be walking around in a fog for a few days after and it will be hard to concentrate on anything. If you have some vacation time now is a good time to take it.  Ask your friends with dogs or who have pets for help if you need to. You will find some people with the attitude; it’s just a dog get over it. Sorry to say, ”they don’t get it and they never will.”  Others can’t do enough to help. Surround with yourself with loved ones and people who understand what you are going through.

HOW CAN I DO THIS BETTER?  -  2 DOGS LEFT

I had just picked up Sandy’s ashes from the crematorium. The ride home with Sandy’s remains on the seat next to me was one of the longest and loneliest rides I had ever taken. The box I placed on the kitchen table was still warm. I was sitting at the table with my head in my hands and feeling real bad. Katie Binks and Ms. Olive were by my feet and I’m pretty sure they knew how I was feeling, total distraught is an understatement. A piece of me, a piece of us had died.  Out of that pure frustration I said out loud “how can I do this better?”   A few seconds went by and swimming popped into my head, find a pool I can get them in.  Dock diving was something I wanted to do years earlier with Katie Binks but never found anything. Katie Binks loved the water and was half crazy in a good way.

I knew first hand that the lack of physical activity in the winter time helps to perpetuate a downward spiral with the older dogs.  After dealing with 2 back surgeries years earlier I knew what the pool in the back yard did for my health in the summer time. I grabbed my notebook computer and did a Google search on “dog pool” or “k9 swim.” After sifting through the first page of Paid Google Noise ™, on the 2^nd page I found a dog rehab clinic called the “K9 Joint” in Franklin Massachusetts. Google Maps says it’s about a 1 hour drive from my house. I really couldn’t believe my eyes, my gloomy spirit started to lift.

Right away I called their phone number and a woman with an energetic voice by the name of Emily answered the phone. I told her I had 2 old labs I wanted to get into their pool.  She said sure, the first swim is free; you can bring up to 3 dogs. Trying hard to find the humor in that statement, I told her I was down to just 2 dogs this week but would like to set up an appointment anyways. I asked if I could go in too. She said they had waders I could put on if I wanted to go in.

Emily had us in their heated saltwater pool the next afternoon. I went in too, it was great. I so wished I could have brought Sandy there. She really loved the water and she was a great swimmer. This would have helped her immensely. I knew it was going to help Katie Binks and Ms.Olive and me too. There were tears in my eyes the whole time. I knew I was going in the right direction and it was heart breaking not having Sandy in the pool with us.

Olive had trouble in the pool. She had always been an OK swimmer but something else was going on.

We continued our Saturday swims and missed very few. We met some truly amazing dog people and this was the place to do it. The K9 Joint was located in a plan Jane commercial building in a rural industrial park just off of RT 495.  The building looked like every other commercial building in the park except inside this one there was a professional K9 physical therapy room with a heated pool and an underwater treadmill, a doggie bakery and gift shop, doggie day care and a groomer all under one roof. I had found dog utopia! Katie Binks, Ms Olive and I loved going there. It was the high point of our week.

Katie Binks was my water dog. She would always walk down the ramp get right in. We called Olive the lifeguard. It took over a year to get Olive back into the pool for reasons we pieced together in the next couple of paragraphs. I strongly believe the pool helped improve their quality of life in so many ways and in ways I’ll never know. It was helping me too.

Old Dog Vestibular Disease

I had come home from work on a cool late summer afternoon 6 months earlier to find my wife Anne sitting next to Olive U in the back yard and looking very concerned. She shouted, ”John, something is wrong. Olive can’t walk, she keeps falling down.” I dropped my bags and headed in their direction. Olive always had a strong heal. I stood back and asked Olive to come to heel. Ms Ol come, Ms Ol heel with both verbal and with a hand signal. She slowly got up, took 2 steps, wobbled and fell down. It looked like she was drunk. I looked into her eyes and noticed them moving back and forth like she had just got off the hair scrambler ride at Rocky Point Amusement park.

The first things we thought of was she ate something really bad or she has had a stroke. I sat next to her for a few minutes petting her and reassuring everything was OK.  Anne said that the dogs were in the yard all afternoon. The 2 other dogs were acting OK. After collecting my thoughts I suggested we get her into the house and get her comfortable.  Anne grabbed her by the collar and I wrapped a towel around her waist to help her move. It wasn’t easy but we got her up the 5 or 6 stairs into the house. It must have looked like all 3 of us were drunk.

I looked at my watch and Snypp was closed. The Ocean State Vet 24 hour emergency room was an option. Anne and myself  had meet on the internet a few years before and being the internet jockeys we were I told her to go online and search for every symptom Olive was exhibiting and I would do the same, we would compare notes in 20 minutes.  20 minutes later we both agreed there was high probability it was Old Dog Vestibular Disease.  The other 2 dogs were still not showing any symptoms. We both felt a little better that we had an understanding of what we might be dealing with. A stroke or something she consumed was still running around in the back of our heads.

Everyone did their best to keep Ms. Olive comfortable. After dinner I did some more research and found some more info on ODVD. It is commonly mis-diagnosed as stroke and many dogs are put down because of it. No one really knows what causes it but if left alone, most dogs should show signs of improvement in about a week. We weren’t going to give up on Ms Olive that easily.

The next morning I called Snypp and got the first available appointment of the day. Peter did an exam and agreed that it did look like ODVD. He said, “Lots of love and time was what she needed most.” As the days passed Ms.Olive did get better. I got the impression she had to learn to walk all over again.  She would walk into things, stumble if she was not paying very close attention or looked away from what she was doing. Ove time I could see the residual effect as she walked or ran. She even exhibited the ODVD signature head tilt. It looked kinda cute but I knew what she had gone through.

After a while I came to the conclusion that ODVD was the reason she was so uncomfortable in the pool. Olive was always an OK swimmer but without that foot to floor feedback she had less sense of balance.

The OLIVE Challenge

For months all the techs at the pool tried to lure Ms.Olive back into the water. They tried a wide variety of treats and persuasion. Ms. Olive would cautiously walk to the end of the ramp get her front paws wet, take the treat that was offered and then cautiously back her way up the ramp.

After months of trying to get her into the pool Nancy managed to get her to the bottom of the ramp. She gently put her arm around Ms Olive and slowly guided her into the water, backwards. About 15 ft from the ramp Nancy let Olive swim back to the landing. Ms Olive’s swimming technique was called the egg beater. It was more like a thrash as she nervously made her way back to the landing and in doing so made sure anyone within 10 feet of her was soaking wet.

At the landing she was met with astonishment, treats and lots of praise. After the excitement settled I then put my arm around her and gently guided her off the ramp backwards the same way Nancy had just done.

Nancy increased Ms Olive’s confidence in the water by letting her always see the way out of the pool. The egg beater soon turned into a calm, confidant dog paddle. I was now leaving the pool each Saturday with 2 very happy, wet Labs!  I always said ,”they’re not truly Labs unless they are soaking wet.”

CAR RAMP

I had been using my 1990 Honda CRX Si to shuttle the dogs back and forth to the pool on Saturdays. My wife Anne called my CRX and daily driver “the Dog Mobile.” In our younger days I managed to stuff all 3 dogs and myself into the little car.  Picture a black CRX with black interior with 3 yellow labs.  You should have seen to look on people’s faces when they realized there were 3 full sized dogs in the car with me!  Add wet dogs in a small space to the equation, hence the name “Dog Mobile.” I have very fond memories of Sandy as a puppy, 2 small boys and myself driving everywhere in that little car. It was very funny when she would stick her head up through the sun roof as we drove down the road.

The CRX was super fun to drive and it got amazing gas mileage but with each passing week the 2 old dogs were having an increasingly harder time getting in and out of it. The CRX had 275,000 miles on it. It looked pretty good and still ran like it was new but it was coming to the end of its useful life for me. I sold it for almost what I bought it for 18 years later. The guy I sold it to had a big smile on his face as he drove it away.  Seeing that car drive away was another sad day for me.

To help get the dogs in and out of my new 2015 Subaru Impreza 5 door hatchback I bought a $50 foldable car ramp from Chewy.com.  I trained the dogs to navigate the ramp by laying the ramp flat on the living room floor. It took a couple of days to get Olive U and Katie Binks comfortable walking on it. I then transferred the ramp to the back of the car and it took them a day or so to get comfortable navigating the incline. If Subaru’s are supposed to be dog cars why do the old dogs have so much trouble getting in and out of them??? I don’t remember seeing any kind of dog ramp as optional equipment for the 2015 Impreza.

I didn’t buy the Subaru because of its TV dog appeal. I had an older Impreza  (my winter car) that I had done some SCCA winter rally in Vermont with. The 97 Imperza had a lot of miles on it and had seen better days. With the planned obsolescence of my CRX (my spring, summer and fall car) I needed something that might cover both bases. The 2015 Impreza is no CRX but with the right tires it‘s amazing in the snow. OK, I bought the 5 speed. If the 5 door Impreza only came with a turbo, real E-brakes , fog lights that worked as fog lights, interior lights that didn’t blind the driver and navigator at night, OK down boy down.  At any time of the year It’s one of the most sure-footed cars that I’ve ever owned.

Just as a side note, I was at the Subaru dealership the other day and they were great about giving me a loaner car while my Impreza was in for service.  When the guy handed me the keys to a new Outback he said, “no smoking and no pets”.  “Well, what kind of dog car is this”, I asked? He rolled his eyes and there was this awkward silence, shaking my head I hopped into the driver’s seat and gave him a wave. So don’t believe everything you see on TV. But some of their dog commercials are pretty cute.

KATIE BINKS my #2 of 3 (INDEPENDENCE)

Katie Binks got first name from her mother. She got her middle name because as a puppy her ears were so long they could touch together under her chin. Her ears were long like Jar-Jar Binks of Star Wars fame.  I’m not really a Star Wars fan I’m more of a Star Trek guy but I liked the name BINKS. I was only allowed to middle name dogs so Binks it was. In her younger days Binks was my star athlete. Watching her run across the field in full stride was like watching poetry in motion. I could never throw the ball far enough. She would rocket back to heal and spit the ball into my open hand. She didn’t want a treat she just wanted me to throw the ball again.  I loved to watch her run. She was just as smooth in the water as she was in the field.  If you can’t find Binks just look for the closest pool of water or for a crowd of people.

The town we live in has no K9 leash law. It is stated, “The dog has to be under verbal command.” On walks my dogs were off lead most of the time and under verbal command most of the time. They were never just turned loose.

A WALK ON THE BEACH

One Saturday afternoon after our swim I decided to take a ride to the ocean. It was mid-February and the temperature was in the mid 60’s, it was a beautiful day and a real treat for sure. I drove to Scarborough Beach in Narraganset , RI. This was a State Beach that didn’t allow dogs during the summer but off season like mid-February no one was around and you could just walk in.  We walked north on the beach to Black Point. There were more people on the beach and trail than one would expect for mid-February.  We sat on the rocks overlooking the ocean and listened to the waves. It was a beautiful day. The sun was high and the air was fresh, the day was a real winter break.

I took a bunch of pictures and I feed them a pocket full of treats I brought along. After about 45 minutes I decided we should head back to the car. I wanted to drive by 30 Pocono Road to reminisce my younger days visiting and staying with my Aunt Marge and to stop at the Point Judith Light House before heading home.

As we walked back to the car Olive and I noticed Katie Binks was no longer with us. This was nothing new Binks was always stopping to smell the flowers or checking things out. I called Olive to stop and we turned around to start to back track to find Katie Binks. I found her a ways back struggling to keep up walking in the sand. A group of kids were walking by and acknowledging her but she paid no attention to them which was highly unusual. The look on her face was one of concern and I will never ever forget that look. My star athlete was struggling to keep up, my heart started to sink in the sand too.

HELP EM UP HARNESS

At the pool one Saturday I noticed an old Yellow Lab wearing a serious looking harness. I asked Emily about the harness and was told it was called a Help ‘em Up Harness. It was for helping older dogs get around. Remembering all the trouble I had trying to help Sandy and drunken Ms Olive up and down the stairs, at the next swim I asked Emily to ordered one.

When we returned for our swim the following week the harness was in. Emily helped fit the harness on Binks. This was nothing like the soft sided harness I used for Sandy. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. The Help ‘em Up had a handle one over the dogs front shoulders and another over the rear hips. I could pick her up off the ground without hurting her. Hell, I could almost use this as a K9 repel harness. THIS HARNESS WAS A GAME CHANGER AND I CANT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH.   When I ordered it I asked Emily to make sure the harness would also fit Ms Olive who was a little bit bigger. I so wish I had this harness to help my Sandy.

As time went by Katie Binks was starting to have more trouble getting up, laying down and walking up and down the 5 or 6 stairs to and from the house. She too had stopped wagging her tail and her rear paws started knuckling.  Before long she too would stop at the end of the walkway. A few months later it looked like she was walking on glass. She would stumble over small sticks in the yard. Peter ordered Tramidol to help with the pain. I would dose her up before going to the pool. She loved the pool!

The harness helped Anne, my step sons Adam and David and myself get her safely up and down the stairs and to where she needed to be. Binks weighted in around 70 pounds. I could lift her right up off the floor and gently place her on all fours and hold her there until she got her balance. She could then walk on the carpet and on Sandy’s repurposed carpet runners on her own. I would always warn her before I lifted her in this fashion. I’d hand signal stay, I’d say “Katie Binks Up, John fetch.” I would grab the 2 handles and on the verbal count of three I would say “Katie Binks UP” while lifting her right off the floor.  I also used the harness to help her up and down the car ramp. I’d use the back handle to help her up and down stairs and while walking in the yard. Whenever she would pause at the stairs, the deck ramp I made for her, the car ramp or new terrain I would always reassure her,” it’s OK BB, I won’t let you fall.”

LYME

Katie had tested positive for Lyme disease at around 2 years old. We started treatment right away but now I can’t help but think it helped to hurt her in the end.  My friend Ann O Day lost her Black Lab to Lyme a few years earlier.  This guy was the size of a tank and you would think nothing could take him down, but it did. What a beautiful dog.   I have seen 2 legged friends get very sick and some even die from Lyme, it’s bad around here.  Whenever you are getting blood work always ask for the Lyme test.  My late-night research shows interesting similarities between Covid and Lyme. I’ll let you go down that rabbit hole on your own.

TICK and FLEA PREVENTION

The tick and flea prevention product FrontLine worked well for a few years and then it didn’t. I was reading stories of seeing eye dogs being treated with FL monthly that were being overrun with fleas. We had the same problem times 3.  I bought some low cost Heart Mountain product from Target.  Sandy and Binks seamed OK with it but poor Olive just went off the wall.  A quick internet search said It can be removed with Dawn and water.  I could write a whole chapter on fleas and flea and tick prevention. The oral tick and flea products work very well. I only used them one time. They don’t give me a good feeling. I wouldn’t eat it so I really didn’t want to feed it to them.  I’ll keep it short and simple, Soresto, Soresto Soresto. The Soresto collars are a bit pricy so shop around at places like Walmart and Chewy.com. Putting a Soresto dog collar on a cat can be disastrous so be careful.

HEARTWORM

Heartworm is an insidious infection that affects both cats and dogs. It is transmitted by Mosquitos. It doesn’t affect humans but it can kill your pet in a short time. It’s very difficult to treat if your pet gets infected.

https://www.heartwormsociety.org/

I went to great lengths to keep mosquitos away from my dogs while they were outside and while they were in the outside kennel. I used a Mosquito Magnet Liberty placed between the house and kennel that work well to minimize mosquitoes in the yard. I bought a battery operated Bug Zapper from the dollar store that I used for walks. It looked like a cheap tennis racket. It’s very satisfying to give the bug a swat and listen to it pop and sizzle. The dogs really didn’t care for the sound of the zapper. Another technique I used was to place a window box fan in the kennel. Duct tape some used window screening over the input side of the fan. Tie the fan down so the dogs can’t knock it over. Turn the fan on and leave it. The mosquitoes will fly by the back of the fan and get caught in the screen. The air flow will hold them there until they desiccate and die in place. Do not turn the fan off when live mosquitos are caught on the screen. If you do they will fly away.

A drug called Ivermectin is widely used in heart worm medication.  In this country Heart Worm prevention is by prescription only and for reasons we are all aware of. In Australia and other countries you can buy it over the counter. In some 3rd world countries it’s handed out like candy to humans to prevent a serious condition called River Blindness. River Blindness is transmitted to humans by blackfly bites.

With 3 dogs on prescription Heart Worm meds it got expensive fast. I was able to order Ivermectin packaged as a Heart Worm med for dogs from an online Pet Supply company in Australia at a substantial savings. I would ween the dogs off in the med in the winter time and re-introduce it monthly in the spring.   Side note: I just read online that Ivermectin is being used by some in India to treat Covid 19 symptoms and with good success. I would proceed with caution.

NAMES

Over time we had at least 10 different names or nick names for each dog and they favorably responded to them. BB was one of many nick names Katie Binks had.  Don’t try this with a puppy, one name is best for the first few years.

TIME TO ASK FOR HELP

Christmas 2017 was right around the corner. With the passing of Sandy still weighing heavily on me from the year before and the thought of Katie Binks following in her footsteps I sought professional help.  Ann Frank has a wonderful smile. The picture of her in the local paper spoke a thousand words. She had studied and researched pet loss when she was in school. Ann also had a few pets and had lost a few too. She was pretty tuned in to what was going on in my life. WHAT I’M SAYING HERE IS, “DON’T BE ARFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. “ Asking for this kind of help wasn’t something I did easily. My wife Anne had been hinting in this direction for a while. Again, listen to the loved ones around you. Just because the advice from a loved one is free doesn’t mean it’s without value.

Katie Binks last days

Katie Binks got to the point where she could not move without the help of others. She was having problems preforming personal hygiene that lead to a vaginal infection. I had her at the vets 4 days before we put her down. They had been watching her decline and knew the lengths I had been going through to keep her healthy. They knew I was putting her down on Sunday and I was trying to keep her comfortable for the last few days of her life. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place when we left. I knew this was going to be her last visit to the vet and it was difficult for me too.

Katie Binks was swimming with the help of a life vest right up to the end. At the pool Emily and Nancy had a going away party for her. She was showered with treats and lots of love. Anne , Ms Olive and myself took Binks to the ocean one last time. I bought her a dozen yellow roses and showered her and Olive with treats, a bag of McDonalds hamburgers and love. I slept by her side on the floor for 3 nights before to make sure she was comfortable and to shower her with as much love and thanks as I could.

To help keep my head screwed on I focused on compiling my best dog pictures. I compiled a few of them into a slide show and played them back on our big screen TV. I sat on the couch with Binks laying at my side and played the pictures for her. She was a captive audience, she wasn’t going anywhere. I talked about where we were, what we were doing and the commands I was issuing. She looked at the pictures and I felt she was truly engaged.  She kept looking up at me like she was saying,” I remember that John.” This was behavior I had never seen before. She paid more attention to the pictures of Sandy. There was a serious connection between Sandy and Binks.

My last night lying on the floor with her was simply amazing. There was so much love. She was always my love bug. That last morning I did something I had never done before. I licked her repeatedly on the snout with my tongue. Much like the way a mother dog would lick one of her puppies. It was the highest honor I could bestow on her and in terms she could understand.

Katie Binks was euthanized at home Sunday February 25, 2017 at 2:30pm. She was laying comfortably on the sofa surrounded by loved ones and lots of her favorite treats. As she started to feel woozy from the injection my last words to her were, “it’s OK BB I won’t let you fall. Find Sandy and stay, John fetch, John come, Katie Binks GO GO GO.  I love you forever Katie Binks and thank-you for being my friend.”

December 25, 2004  First Christmas,  Olive-U (left), Katie Binks (center), Sandy Cheeks (right)

The hole in my gut that was just starting to heal was torn wide open, Katie Binks my Luv Bug was gone. She was Anne’s pick before we were half way home from Alabama. We knew she was special very early on. Whenever we opened the kennel door to feed the puppies Katie Binks would always run to the people while the other puppies always ran to the food. Watching this behavior repeat itself day after day we knew she was the keeper.

Euthanasia

At home euthanasia is not inexpensive but it felt like the right thing to do for our everyday family friend of 14 years.  Some people say it’s the best last gift you can give to your dog or pet. I found it to be one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I knew it had to be done. I did it for my friend and I know I did the right thing at the right time.

We had Katie Binks cremated in Warren, RI the next day at the same place her sister Sandy was cremated 14 months earlier.  Some of the people there had changed but they were still warm, caring and accommodating. Katie Binks was cremated with her yellow roses. I said good bye for the last time.  I helped push her body into the incinerator and crying my eyes out I thanked her again for being my friend as I closed the door.

https://faithfulfriendscrematory.com/obituaries/katie-binks-murphy/

Famous Last Words

The last couple years of her life, Katie Binks would always get into trouble by sneaking into the back room and eating Zip and Lou’s wet cat food.  Zip and Lou are Anne’s black and white house cats.  The cats and the dogs always got along but Katie Binks made it clear to both of them to stay clear, and they did. Katie Binks would get into trouble by eating their food and licking the cat food bowls clean. Licking the bowl perfectly clean is something the cats never did so it was easy for Anne to read the crime scene. Anne would get pretty upset because this was premiere cat food she was buying for her cats. Even when Katie Binks would get caught red handed and scolded for eating the cat food she would be right back at it when she could. Near the end we even used this as an indicator of her health and mobility. Ann warned her more than once that that cat food would be the last thing she would ever eat.  We had no idea how true that warning was. Anne spoon feed Katie Binks a whole can of that cat food no more than 5 minutes before we put her down. Anne knew how much she loved that cat food and Anne loved her Katie Binks.

Anne with Katie Binks, on our way home from Alabama. Anne knew early on Binks was the keeper.

I remember hearing the saying that our bodies will tell us what we need. Was Katie Binks body saying I need better food? What’s in cat food? Fish and Omega 3 fatty acids.  Read most dog food bags, you won’t find much Omega 3 in it. I started to feed Ms Olive inexpensive people grade oily tuna fish or sardines in oil a couple of times a week in hopes of slowing the whole degenerative process. Hind sight tells me I should have started doing this years earlier.  Thank god Ms. Olive never had a taste for cat food.

There was a whole lot more that went on with Katie Binks passing and it was truly life changing. I’ll save that for my book.

OLIVE –U   last of the 3 sisters from Trinity (LOYALITY)

Olive as a new puppy was named by one of the kids because she wore a green collar. I was only allowed to pick middle names.  You or U seemed to be the best choice and it immediately brought a smile to my face.  It brought a smile to everyone’s face when I would introduce her, as Olive-U. Some of the kids would follow up with, “like the other reindeer!”  In hind-sight, there is no better name. Ms Olive was a low energy dog. She was without a doubt the easiest of the three to handle. She was always the first dog out of the woods when I blew the whistle. Her line was always the tightest when she was pulling me on skis.  I only had to say’”let’s go home” one time and she was on her way. She was so easy and everyone loved her.

Ms Olive was still getting around pretty well and without any assistance when her litter mate Katie Binks was put down. Now Ms. Olive  was my life line and my connection to the other two. I poured my everything into her wellbeing. I continued with our visits to the pool.  There were a few months of no swims as the K9 Joint transitioned to a new location in Walpole , Ma. https://www.facebook.com/caninenewengland/

This new place had a 20x40 heated pool, a dock for diving and an agility course all under the same roof. Years earlier I looked for a place to introduce Katie Binks to dock diving but never really found anything. Dock diving was right down her ally and I knew it was in her blood. I found dock diving heaven a few months after she passed away.

I was now going to take everything I had learned and pour it into my last dog. I signed Olive up for 1 hour swims and we had the whole huge heated pool to ourselves.  The new place put in a wonderful grooming room so after swims so she always looked and smelled great.

A few months later Olive too stopped wagging her tail, started knuckling and slipping on the kitchen floor. Soon she too started to have trouble walking up the 5-6 stairs to get back into the house. I went into the backroom and found the Help em Up Harness that I put into storage after I removed it from Katie Binks 6 months earlier.  I started to cry because I knew what it was the beginning of. I waited another day or so before I had the courage to put it on her; I was so sad and was holding back my tears as to not upset her. Anne watched from a distance. She knew it wasn’t easy for me.

Olive was a little bigger than Katie-Binks so I had to make a few adjustments. I had put this harness on and off Katie Binks so many times I was a pro at it. Olive had seen me putting it on and taking it off Katie Binks everyday. Olive didn’t put up the least bit of a fuss as I made adjustments to the harness.  The verbal assurance was always, ”John Fix.” The hand signal was stay and easy. I would say this to all three dogs when I was adjusting skijoring harnesses, back packs, collars, boots or taking thorns out of paws. I was so sad and emotional about putting the harness on her until I went to help her up to go outside for the first time.  Ms Olive up, John fetch, ready 123 up. She had seen me do this many times with Katie Binks she knew what to expect. It was so easy. The sadness turned into a smile and then into happiness. Her struggle to get around had just become a lot easier and safer for all of us.

Ms Olive (above) resting after a big walk to the end of the driveway. I borrowed an idea I had seen at the K9 Joint to try and prevent rear paw knuckling. It worked great as long as you left them on.

The girls at the pool watched her decline over the next few months and suggested hemp oil. I spoke to a friend at work who recommended a website for ordering human grade product. Keep in mind that just months earlier the FEDS would throw you in jail for buying this stuff never mind selling it, thanks guys, well done. Olive responded favorably to a hemp oil gelcap each evening. There was less of the OLD DOG BARK that I heard from all three old dogs.  I never really knew what this random bark was all about. Both Sandy and Olive had hearing problems and I attribute it to them saying,”I feel isolated but I’m here.” After a few doses Olive seamed to move around easier. This stuff was people grade and expensive. It got to a point that I was giving it to her both morning and night.  A few months into it the hemp oil vender got caught up in an internet shipping scam and one of my orders was lost. I was without product for a couple of weeks and I did see a difference in her without it.

Identification

When your old dog wonders off things can start to become a little frantic.

All three of my dogs were micro chipped and I highly recommend it. It’s really not much use unless you have a chip reader and access to the owner database. Vets and some animal control people do have the readers.  For everyday people I always etched each dogs name and my cell phone number on the back of their Rabies Tags.  A couple of times Sandy would wonder off following some smell coming through the woods from the school. I would get a call from a well-meaning kid at the school saying, “ hay mister I found your dog Sandy at the school.” One day I had a phone conversation with a nice woman who was walking at the school and ran across Sandy sniffing around. She put Sandy in her car and drove her down the street. I met them at the end of the drive way. Cell phones are amazing things most of the time. Put your phone number on your dog’s collar just in case they happen to wonder off.   Most people have cell phones in their pockets these days and will give you a quick call if they think the dog is lost or has wondered off.  Katie Binks and Olive always stayed closer to home.

Olicart

We all noticed Olive just wanted to come directly back into the house after doing her duty. This really wasn’t good for her sprit. She was a bit shy but always loved being outside.

I was at my brother Richard’s house a few weeks earlier and admired a garden cart that he was doing yard work with. It was called a Gorilla Cart.  A week later I found one at the local Lowes in Cranston and it was already assembled. I told the woman in the lawn and garden department what I was going to use it for. With a big smile on her face she insisted on helping me load it into my old Caravan. What a nice woman, I wish I could remember her name.

When I got home I right away lined the cart with a big old moving blanked and lifted Olive into the cart.  I started to pull her and she looked OK until I turned my head, she jumped out of the cart and was laying on the ground. I immediately turned around and went back to make sure she was OK and to comfort her. After a few minutes I lifted her back into the cart and just let her get used to it not moving. Anne came out to walk along and spot her as I pulled the cart. Within 2 minutes Ms. Olive pooped in the cart. We cleaned up the best we could and finished our walk.

Over time the new cart was a big success but there was a little bit of a learning curve.

I would take Olive on cart rides a few times a week and always after swims. I would cart her to her favorite places at the school and then lift her out with the harness so she could walk around. When it got to a point where she got tired she would lie down in the grass. I would put her back in the cart and off we’d go.  It made both of us feel good. It would always bring a smile to anyone’s face who saw us.  I so wish I had found this earlier. Sandy and Katie Binks would have loved this cart too.

CANNED PUMPKIN

I had noticed red spots from time to time in Olive’s poop. What goes in must come out. Watching what comes out will tell you volumes about your dog’s health. Of course I had to take a few pictures and show them to the vet on her next visit. Peter right away said, “canned pumpkin.” He said it kind of quickly and with confidence. I said,”what!?”  Again he said,”canned pumpkin” and started to explain the benefits of canned pumpkin. He said it adds moisture to the intestinal tract and it had a lot of fiber. I will have to say it worked really well for a little while.

Soon the hour swims soon became too much for Ms. Olive. Swimming turned into floating. The life vest would hold her up and I would hold her in place and support her head. She so enjoyed just floating in zero G in the pool. When I looked into her eyes I saw pure calm and relaxation. It was like she was someplace else. Floating was her reward for swimming.

On one of our last swims Emily put her 3 legged Chaw Wawa, Melony into the pool with Ms.Olive. It was so amazing to watch these 2 dogs with physical problems just swimming around and having fun without a care in the world like absolutely nothing was wrong.  From my perspective above the water there was no problem with either one. At that moment both dogs could have been 10 years younger, it made me feel good and still does every time I think about it.

A few weeks later Ms Olive was having problem with uncontrollable diarrhea. Now here is a girl who never poop or peed in the house. She was very prim and proper. But now, anything that went in came out about 20 minutes later. Peter changed her food to Hill Science diet and some probiotic to sprinkle on her food. Within a day or so the diarrhea went away. When food was put in her bowl it would always instantly disappear. She was real easy when it came to food but now she was becoming a little food fussy. A couple of times Anne was afraid she was not eating so I would make a bland sandwich and cut into lots of pieces. I would sit on the floor and share the sandwich by hand feeding it to her. If I was eating it, it must be good. All three dogs loved people food. Feeding dogs people food is a real bad habit, but in this case it was coming in handy.

A couple more months passed and Ms. Olive was having trouble sitting up and rolling over on her own. She could walk to poop and pee only with help of the harness.  We called and made an appointment with the home euthanasia Vet Christine.  Anne and myself took Ms Olive to the pool for her last swim.  All of her friends Emily, Nancy and Kate were there to say good bye. Emily helped me bring Ms. Olive to the car. Ms. Olive  was whipped out from the swim. As we were walking to the car Emily in a reassuring voice said, ”John, you’re doing the right thing.” Emily had watched her decline over the months. With tears in our eyes we hugged and I said to her, “if I’m doing the right thing why is it so hard?” She said ,”it’s because you love her so much.” She helped me get Olive into the car. I thanked her again for all of her help and we parted ways.

Like after most swims I stopped at McDonalds for a bag of burgers.  I still have dog nose prints on the back window of my Subaru from both dogs eagerly looking on as I returned to the car with the burgers. 3 Years later I still have not had the heart to clean that one window. A badge of honor you might say. Put that sticker on your bumper Subaru. Lately I have been noticing that in just the right light I see the same kind of slobber on the rear windows of passing cars. It always brings a smile to my face.

Olive U’s Last day

It was Sunday afternoon and Christina had arrived. Olive was ready to go. We knew Ms Ol was ready to go when she didn’t want any more chocolate. The chocolate wasn’t going to killer.

We had all said our good byes. She was happy and comfortable but there was nothing left in her tank. The last thing I said to her was,” I love you everyday and I will love you forever. Thank-you for being my friend. “ In a firmer tone I said, “Ms Olive find Sandy Cheeks and Katie Binks and stay, John fetch, John come, Ms Ol, GO GO GO.  As I was gently petting her she closed her eyes for the last time and so peacefully she was gone.

On Sunday afternoon June 9^th 2019 at 2 pm Olive-U was euthanized at home on the living room floor with loved ones by her side. She outlived her litter mate Katie Binks by almost 16 months. June 9^th is mine and Anne’s wedding anniversary, this was a very emotionally confusing day to say the least and I’m glad Anne was there with me. I could not have done all this without her help and support.

https://faithfulfriendscrematory.com/obituaries/olive-u-murphy/

The hole in my gut that had starting to heal twice before was ripped open again. For the first time in 17 years there were no dogs. I was now in new territory. They were my every day.

I slept with Ms Olive on the floor for 3 nights before her passing trying to keep her comfortable and to thank her for being my friend. On Sunday I had gotten up early to make her breakfast and to take her for a last cart ride. In the warm morning sun we picked wild flowers in the field and reminisced along the way. Near the end of the walk I pulled her as fast as I could run on the trail. Her ears were flapping and her nose was high. She looked at me like I was crazy. I wanted to see those ears flap in the wind just one more time.

Olive was cremated the next day with her yellow roses and the wild flowers we had picked in the field the morning before. Like the 2 times before with both Sandy and Katie Binks I said good bye and I love you for the last time. I helped push her lifeless body into the incinerator and crying my eyes out I closed the door.

Getting myself to a good place

Olive-U was the last of my Three Yellow Labs.  I’ve cried more in the last 4 years of my life than I had in the previous 58. I have also smiled and laughed more in my time with them than I had at any time in my life. They helped me, Anne, David and Adam grow in so many ways and in ways we’ll never know. For me, it was truly a symbolic relationship of trust, respect, compassion, unconditional love, oneness and living in the moment.  These were everyday lessons I will never ever forget…

The Overwhelming Sense of Loss

After months of reflection and struggling with this almost overwhelming feeling of loss I’ve had some time to try and understand this and I’ll break it down like this. Sandy lived 14 years, 7 months and 5 days. Break this down a little more and we have something like 5333 days.  I was the primary care giver but I can’t take credit for all 5333 days so let’s round it to 5000 days. I fed Sandy once in the morning and once in the evening so I fed Sandy 10,000 times.  I would take her for a long walk every day. That’s 5000 walks in the woods and at the school. I probable took her out to poop and pee 3-4 times a day.  Ok I think you see where I’m going here. Children grow up and can start to care for themselves. I cared for these dogs every day and they depended on me every day.  I watched them grow from puppy to adult. I watched each one of them grow old and I watched them die. For me, it was like losing a child. When Olive passed it was like the loss of a child x3.

Observations

These dogs are incredibly intelligent and have their own personalities, likes and dis-likes. They love to be with people and they want to please people. They understand a whole lot more that we give them credit for.  In just a short time they can read your body language and facial expressions. They read your energy level and know your routines. They know your tone of voice and learn lots of words. I can’t even imagine how they can read the smells our bodies are letting off in times of happiness, sadness and in times of stress. How many words do they really understand? We had our own language.  There are times that they know us better than we know us.

The day we were putting Binks down the vet Christina came in, introduced herself and asked if it was OK to pet Olive. We said sure , Olive is a sweetheart. The second the vet touched Olive, Olive peed all over the living room floor.  I had never seen this behavior before. Olive was always happy to see and meet people. Olive knew something very very big was going on. As soon as the vet walked in, Katie Binks started to breathe like she was having an anxiety attack. I used a section of newspaper to fan her to try to keep her cool and to get her more air. We were all stressed out and the dogs easily picked up on it.  I can only imagine what they were picking up in our verbal conversations.

Euthanizing your pet

Ask your Vet, ask your friends or family members who have gone through this before. Call around to the home euthanasia people, ask questions, ask about prices, services and how they want to get paid. Ask lots of questions, they do this all the time. Ask what kind of pets they have at home and how long they have been doing this line of work. What should you expect? What’s going to happen to my dog? What preparations do you need to make? What do you want to do with your dog’s body? Can they have it cremated? Can they recommend a cemetery or crematorium? Depending on where you live I’m sure some places will get upset if you burry your pet in the back yard.

This is a hard conversation to have and perhaps one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make. Do it for your friend. Don’t let them suffer mentally or physically. Listen to the loved ones around you. Know when to let go, have a plan, have set targets of decline.  Here is a “How Do I Know When it’s Time Chart” from The Ohio State University Veterinary Medical Center.

It’s about your dog or pet, it’s not about you. I waited a couple of days too long for Sandy but I did keep my promise to her. Anne clearly saw what I didn’t want to see. You have to live with the decisions you make so make good ones. And most of all don’t be afraid to ask for help, others will respect you for it.

Crematorium

If you want, ask to help with the nose prints, paw clay impressions, paw prints and fur clippings. I asked to help put the remains of each dog in the incinerator and close the door and they let me. It’s not easy to do and it may not be for everyone but it helped bring the closure that I needed. I was there every day of their lives and I saw it through to the very end. I personally would not have it any other way. This was the highest honor I could give them.  Everyone is different, follow your heart, don’t be afraid to convey your feelings and certainly don’t be afraid to ask.

Therapy

I found writing a letter to them and read it to them in tribute after they passed away seemed to help. Have the letter buried or cremated with them. Keep a copy for yourself. I had a video camera running while I read the letter to each one after they passed. I warn you, playing it back even 3-4 years later is just brutal. I don’t know why I did these recordings but I knew I had to. Maybe it was so I would never forget how I felt at the moment. If it makes you feel better, write down your feelings and your experiences. Find a friend or a professional that can help you through.

Reinvention

Take the time to get your life back in order and your head screwed back on. Think about buying some new furniture and maybe some new carpeting or flooring for your house. Dogs can place a heavy toll on both.  Try to feel good about yourself and your every day because now it’s going to be a little different.

You are going to have a little extra time on your hands. Maybe it’s a good time to think about reinventing yourself. Learn something new, something that will keep your mind occupied. Maybe go in a new direction, think about it, follow your heart. Every time I dig real deep looking for the really hard answers the answer that comes back is, “follow your heart.”

Something I always wanted to do was to get my ham radio license. A few months after Binks passed away I started studying for the technician test. I passed the first test and went back two more times and finished with an Amateur Extra license. There is so much more to learn and it’s been a great distraction. For a 2nd second time in my life I found comfort navigating loss with the help of radio.  https://www.qrzcq.com/call/KC1KOP

Mittsy

One morning when I was 7 or 8 years I was told to say good bye to our new puppy Mittsy. Thinking nothing of it I gave the puppy a big hug and said good bye. My Dad said he was taking Mittsy to the vets. He didn’t tell me that my puppy and the whole litter of puppies she came from were sick and had to be put down.  That evening when he came home I got the bad news and I was just devastated. I didn’t understand the bad feeling I had about losing Mittsy and asked my Mom how long it was going to take for the hurt to go away.  I remember her saying I would feel better in 3 or 4 days and to say prayers for Mittsy every night. My Dad handed me a small package and said it was far from a replacement puppy but it might help take my mind off Mittsy. In the package was a 9 volt AM-FM transistor radio. It’s funny how history repeats itself.

Dreams

I don’t recall ever dreaming about my dogs when they were alive.  After they passed away I went to bed many evenings wanting and hoping to dream of them. Only a few times do I recall waking up and having seen my dogs in a dream. The first words out of my mouth when I woke was “I saw them last night.” I try my best to remember every detail and then go write it down before it fades away.  In one dream I saw all three dogs together. They were about middle age.  They were in a field by the water on the other side of a single lane paved road. I called out them and they started in my direction. I was caught off guard as they quickly started to return to me. Of course Olive was first to respond. I started to run to the road to safely cross them.  I then thought to myself, “don’t worry nothing bad can happen to them, they’re dead.” I knelt down and started to pet Binks and Olive at the same time. At that very moment I was overwhelmed with joy and woke up. Needless to say that dream came to an end real quick. I was disappointed I didn’t get to pet Sandy. I tried to go back to sleep hoping the dream would pick up where it left off. A few minutes later my alarm went off and a few choice words were mumbled. Over coffee, I woke up happy that I did get to see all three of them together again, happy and healthy even if it was just for a moment. I’m sure there will be more.

And sometimes extraordinary funny things happen

It was December 6th 2020, a Sunday afternoon. I had just helped Anne setup the Christmas Tree and we were listening to Christmas music. I was OK until I heard a song I remembered hearing the morning that Sandy died. Now I started to miss all three dogs and started to feel sad that they weren’t with us.

Their old kennel was now being used for storage and I had to put a few things under cover as a snow storm was in the forecast for the next week. Anne had asked me to take a picture of something in the kennel she was interested in purchasing for her son David for Christmas. In the kennel I took a quick picture of the item, hit the sleep button and returned the phone to my pocket. I was straightening up a few things in the kennel and was on the floor on all fours pushing something heavy into the corner.  I paused for a second, I heard something strange. A sniffing or a scratching sound. After a second I realized the sound was coming from the pocket my cell phone was in. I stood up and removed the phone from my pocket and to my surprise the Samsung S6 Active was on. I was pretty sure I had put it to sleep before putting it in my pocket. The selfie camera was activated and to my surprise I saw myself on the screen with a video overlay I had never seen of knew anything about.

I just could not believe what I was seeing! The dog overlay would animate as I spoke. I quickly sized it up as a Christmas Card from my dogs and said, “Thank-You Girls. A little while later back in the house I showed Anne what was somehow recorded on my phone. We both were a little dumb found and started to laugh.  To turn it off the effect I had never seen before and knew nothing about I found it 4 deep in some obscure menu. How the password protected phone got turned on; how the selfie cam had been selected, how this 4 deep video effect was selected and the record button was activated I will never know. Thank-You Girls, Merry Christmas…

What did I learn?

I learned about absolute unconditional love every day for 17 years.

If one is good, three is amazing.

I learned about living in the NOW and still try to practice it every day.

I learned how to stop and smell the flowers, thank-you Katie Binks.

I learned how to greet people and how to be friendly to strangers.

If you are walking with a dog (or 3) you are not invisible.

I learned to read the body language of dogs and people.

I learned to treat dogs like dogs and not like people, always with kindness, respect and sharing.

This Help em Up Harness was a game changer for all of us. In contrast to trying to take care of Sandy three and a half years earlier.  The Help em Up made a HUGE DIFFERENCE . The harness made bringing an old dog out in the cold, ice and snow of New England winters tolerable and less dangerous for all. When those simple 5 or 6 stairs are thick with ice at 11 o’clock at night it was worth every cent I paid. It was so rewarding helping Katie Binks and Ms Olive up and down the stairs and car ramp with a high degree of confidence.  Holding the rear harness handle in the last few weeks to help support them squat outside without falling was a big deal. Helping them walk with a degree of dignity right up to the last hours of their lives was an honor. These are the simple things I will never forget

Finding a foldable car ramp to help them in and out of the car made a big difference. They loved riding in the car right to the end. I recently heard a story of someone trying to get and old dog into and out of a car to go to the vet. The dog was yelping in pain as they tried. Please don’t go there.

Putting simple, cheap, carpet floor runners over the slippery floors in my kitchen made a difference.

The pool and the people there was a game changer especially in the winter time. Being around other dog people and learning from them was a game changer too, thank-you.

Having Vets you can talk to and work with is big.

The hemp oil, canned pumpkin and fish oil was an eye opener.

Having family members who want to help is very big.

The Olicart was a game changer too. It made me feel so good pulling Ms Olive around to her favorite places. Watching the passers bye the feeling was obviously contagious.

Finding the right home euthanasia vet was big. Christina was truly an angel in disguise.

Finding the right crematorium was big, times 3.

Driving in the car by myself was difficult, I had too much time to think and a lot of time to cry. BE CAREFUL DRIVING.

Dog slobber on the rear windows of your car is a badge of honor!

Think twice about running out right away to get a “replacement dog.” Please take a while to honor their memory and the good times you had. Collect all your pictures, video and mementos and put them in a safe place, they’re memories worth keeping. Don’t be in a hurry to throw their things out. Hang some of their favorite things on the wall, it will make you smile and bring back good memories when you need them the most. Take a few minutes to write down your fond memories on paper. It’s amazing how quickly we forget the little things that made us smile. Time passes quickly and so do memories.

These dogs were my everyday happiness drug and I was addicted. Withdrawal is accomplished one day at a time. Time heals all wounds, some faster than others.

Everyone processes loss differently.

Not a day goes by without me thinking of them. Sometimes it brings a tear to my eye and I might start to whimper. Sometimes it brings a smile cheek to cheek and sometimes it brings an incredibly warm feeling of love.

Old habits die hard and let them, I still toot my car horn 3 times when I leave the drive way. The same way I did every morning leaving for work. I still find myself considering who might get certain left offers.

Most of all don’t be afraid to ask for help and listen to the loved ones around you.

Would I do it again? YES I WOULD and I wouldn’t change very much. Anne would remind me of this saying , “ it’s better to have love and lost than not to have loved at all.”  Unconditional love is truly AMAZING.

At some point reality set in and I started to realize that taking care of 3 dogs was getting expensive. These days having 3 dogs cost a lot of money. I have detailed records of all the vet visits for each dog from day one. Someday I will add it all up and I won’t be surprised, I’d do it again if I could.

Would I discourage anyone from getting a Lab? It depends on your life style, how much room you have and how much time you can commit to them. This could be a 15 year commitment. Labs and most dogs really want to be with people. Please don’t leave them penned up for hours on end and alone. They say a dog year equals 7 years to one human year. To boil this down another way, one day to us is a week to them, remember that.  I sadly reminded myself of that every time I put them in the kennel and went off to work for the day.

They are really smart, teach them and challenge them, go slow and be patient, they love it. They really want to please you and want you to be happy. Take them with you and take them everywhere you can. Dogs don’t want to be treated like humans. Dogs want to be treated like dogs and you are the pack leader. I heard one of the top dog trainers say,” If you love and coddle your dog the best you will ever get is 80%. If you respect your dog will get 100%.”

Some Labs have a lot of energy and if left unchecked will be a problem. They need lots of exercise to be heathy and so do you. You really need to match the dogs breed with your lifestyle. I say Labs because that’s what I know. Take them with you but be extra careful of the extreme heat and cold, hot days, hot cars and cold nights. Some days dogs are best left in the comfort of your home.

I will get another female Yellow Lab someday. Probably closer to when I retire so I can give this new puppy 104% and spend every day with her. You already know the first and last thing I am going to say to her. I had to promise Anne that next time we would only get one.

Why another Yellow? I’ll save that for another day too.

Closing words

I hope this helps you on your journey. All good things come to an end and very sadly nothing lasts forever, so live every day to the fullest. As long as they are in your memories and in your heart they will never be far away and they might be a lot closer than you think.

Love is the strongest force in the universe and love always finds a way.

Love your dog every day and when it’s time don’t be afraid to let them GO GO GO.

One evening I asked, “This was such an amazing experience how can any new dog replace what I had?  This is a very tall order. How do I go about even finding a new dog? After these three I have expectations that are so high.”

                                                                 “Let the dog find you.” (Anne Frank)

                                                                          Love Love Love . . .

Mentions

To my wife Anne-Marie who insisted we needed a dog and to my surprise walk through the door with a Yellow Lab puppy a few weeks later.  Sandy was the most life changing gift I have ever received. From the bottom of my heart, thank-you Anne.

Sons David and Adam grew up with these dogs. They helped train them, helped care for and loved them every day, thank-you.

I want to thank the people and the amazing Vets at Snypp Clinic in Pascoag, RI. Thank-you everyone, thank-you so much, and to Peter, until we meet again…

Thank-you everyone at the K9 Joint and K9 New England, Emily, Nancy , Kate, Julie, and Patty. Going to the pool was the high point of our week. With your help, deep down, I know, “I did do it better.”

Coach Caron and all the janitors, teachers, people in passing and kids at Ponaganset High School, thank-you.

Christina Kinkade of RI Home Pet Euthanasia, you helped take a huge weight off my shoulders and you did it with kindness and compassion, thank-you.

The people at Faithful Friends Crematorium were amazing, compassionate and never let us down in our time of need, thank-you.

Anne Frank, thank you for the hours we spent talking about our beloved animals and loss.

This was truly the hard part, everything else was the easy part.

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Author Bio

John Murphy lives in Glocester, Rhode Island with his wife Anne-Marie, sons David, Adam and their 2 black & white house cats Zip and Lou. John has a multidiscipline background in way too many things to mention. He worked 25 years at Design Lab, an Industrial Design and Independent Toy Design group in Providence, RI. He has worked the last 10 years running the Brown University BioMed Machine Shop specializing in prototype development for the Engineering, Neuroscience and research community.  John can be contacted at 123yellowlabs at gmail.

DISCLAIMER:

I have not been compensated in any way from the above mentioned companies.

This website is for information purposes only. By providing the information contained herein we are not diagnosing, treating, curing, mitigating or preventing any type of disease or medical condition. Before beginning any type of natural, integrative or conventional treatment regimen, it is advisable to seek the advice of a licensed healthcare professional.